creatures

I had this zany idea that I'd repaint the exterior of my house. By myself. Nothing like a fat 36 year old lady on a 24 foot aluminum extension ladder, eh?
Step 1. Procrastinate for 6 years. (DONE!)
Step 2. Guilt self for 6 years over cost of painting. Wonder how angry husband will be for 6 years. (DONE!)
Step 3. Finally decide this is the year. (DONE!) (DONE!) (DONE!)
Step 4. Go to Consumer Reports and find "right" paint. (DONE!)
Step 5. Attempt to find "right" paint at several Home Depot Locations. (DONE!)
Step 6. Go to Glidden.com and find out where the heck they actually carry "right" line. (DONE!)
Step 7. Have anxious thoughts about roof portions of painting. Confer with mother. Get forbidden to do roof portions. (DONE!)
Step 8. Go to the other side of the world to get "right" paint. Stop over at wonderful friend's home after getting paint and wandering the hardware / building supply store for an hour or two. (DONE!)
Step 9. Eat painfully gorgeous delicious tounge swallowlingly good sandwich at friend's house. (DONE!)
Step 10. Try to sand out weird cracky marks on front door.(DONE!)
Step 11. Try harder. (DONE!)
Step 12. Give up and powerwash door. Accidentally find that paint has never been truly adhered to said door. Curse former homeowners for putting cheap paint on door in order to sell house to clueless current owners. (DONE!)
Step 13. Paint stupid *^(*#($^ door anyhow. (DONE!)
Step 14. Paint shutters too. Marvel at just how PURPLE "dignified" looks in semi gloss and sunlight. (DONE!)
Step 15. Realize now door looks cracky, wonky, and PURPLE. (but somehow dignified.)
Step 16. Start removing old, dead, termite damaged wood for replacement.
Step 17. Find LIVE FORAGING TERMITES.
Step 18. FREAK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Step 19. WTF???
Step 20....tell husband. husband mad. husband seems to think self did this to house on purpose. self starts to blame self...if only i had done this sooner...if only if only if only.
Someone put me out of my misery.